Ouch.

I was very angry earlier. I felt like throwing things. Hard. And now my hand may be broken.

Well. I haven't heard and it is really starting to make me angry. Why would they tell me 2 weeks if they didn't mean it? Now I am getting paranoid (who, you Traci?) that they forgot to call me because I have been rejected. And I haven't heard from Dallas when I should have heard from them Friday.

And the book I am reading that I really like? Well I got mad at the author because I didn't have anyone else to get mad at. She thinks she is a genius on religion. She's not. She probably doesn't even know what she is talking about. (Do you have a hint of how my day is going?)

So I got a bowl of Oh's, quite possibly the best cereal in the world but the only store that sells it in Bloomington is Wal-Mart and Wal-Mart is on the opposite end of town. So I had one big bowl left of Oh's and I fix it for myself this morning with the little bit of milk that was left. I take one bite and feel like I am going to throw up. No, the cereal or milk wasn't bad, I just didn't realize I felt sick. So I go lay down. Still no phone calls after awhile or emails. So I threw my phone. I was in control however because I threw it into the pile of pillows on my bed (not against the wall).

So I was dressed in shorts and a t-shirt because the weather is supposed to be getting better. I guess I have a god coomplex thinking if I dress in summer clothes the weather will be summer like. Well it is cold and overcast. So I changed. Then I tried to convince myself it would be warm enough to sit on my deck to read, but it wasn't. Tess threw my book off my bed and then I threw it on the floor in frustration later.

So. I screamed. A little. Quietly. A baby lives downstairs. What can I do? Well I feel better now but of course my Oh's are all gone. Maybe I could make chocolate milk. So I did. Not too bad. But now there is absolutely no milk except for the stuff that expired 2 weeks ago and I haven't thrown out yet. Still frustrated. Still don't know what to do. So tempted to go get Chinese. But not quite in the mood. So. What to do?

I didn't want to think for a few minutes--- so I went to wash my hair. Then when I was done with that I thought of you miraculous people who clean when you are mad. So I decide to clean my bathroom. It was pretty gross, but I got back behind the toilet and now it isn't so gross. So then I was beating my bath mats against the wall to get the dog hair out of them. I forgot my hand was in the way. So I have a nasty bump/bruise on my right hand. No it's not broken, but it sure does smart. (So why am I typing so much? Masochistic idiot)

I think before I beat the mats (and my hand) I vacuumed. I am always vacuuming. not necessarily the floor, but the cushions on the couch Tess loves to sit on. Oh wait, it started because I had to clean up the mess she made on my bedroom floor. Then I moved to the living room. Then the vacuum cleaner tipped while I was using one of the appendages and let me tell you- it hurts to have that rapidly spinning hard brush hit your leg on the bottom of the vacuum cleaner.

Then I did the mats. Then I was able to open the door for some cool fresh hair because now I am really hot.

Oh yeah. When Tess started barking I just came and looked at her. She looked at me. We stared for awhile. Then I said one word, "down." And she backed down.

How's that for my god complex?

I was going to answer questions from comments on my previous posts but now I can't think of them.

Yesterday I was rejected by three people who I invited to church and a Georgia school who I paid some pretty money to.


Life is intense. So is the pain in my hand. and now my apartment smells like cigarettes because the guy who lives downstairs goes outside to smoke because of his baby and my slider door was open so all the smoke is now in my living room.

okay I'm done. and guess what. I am smiling.