Ah, the things I learn at work. Such wonderful, uplifting things.
For example, yesterday I learned that "ice" is another name for methamphetamine, because the crystals look like ice. Fascinating, huh? I saw the up close and personal effects of ice on a 15 year old girl who was accompanied to the hospital by 2 police officers Friday night. Even though I talked with this girl for over an hour, did a body check on her, fed her, made up a bed for her, and then put her to bed, she had no recollection of me come Monday morning.
Other things I have learned recently:
-Psychotic 50 year old women who are 4'11 are not scary, as they would have you believe, but rather quite entertaining. This includes said woman:
-demanding I look at her feet when she talks to me, rather than at her face
-informing me I had to walk several steps behind her because I was her servant
-instructing me that when her jeans need washing you should do so in the shower
-stripping while teaching me the above lesson
-fighting to stay awake against some rather severe meds
-Teenage girls are horrible people. This typically hits around the age of 14 and lasts through the age 20. Starting age may be as low as 11 and/or may extend to the age of 22
-Traci H and Traci A are apparently the same person, even though one is full time and printed on the schedule, and the two have comepletely different job titles. This may (will) result in Traci H being moved to work with crazy 50 year old women multiple days in a row, when she should be working with children.
-It is not that hard to manipulate people. I was extraordinarily talented at this as a teenager, and up until this week I worried this skill had been lost on the youth of today.
-Getting older is horrible. Why was I so anxious for it when I was 10?
-I still love roller coasters, but I don't quite love the after effects on my body
-Lower back pain is horrible. Especially when you have a very physically demanding job and you have to call in to work because you can't stand up
-Never make promises to CPS kids. I thought I knew this one already, but apparently you can't always control your body and it breaks your heart when you can't be there to say goodbye to a child
-Don't put off going to the doctor. They have the drugs to make you feel better
-Growing older leads to developing a taste for some previously disgusting foods. These include yogurt, squash, broccoli, and lasagna
-However, peas will always, ALWAYS taste like little balls of throw up
-Childhood obesity is horrible. Parents, it is okay to say no sometimes. Truth be told, as much as I hate hearing a child screaming for candy in a grocery store this will always be better than an 8 year old who weighs 166 lbs.
-Second to that (or maybe previous to that), parents are parents. Not friends. If it helps you remember, say it like Bruce, the Australian shark from Finding Nemo. Come on, say it with me: Parents are parents. Not friends.
-Teachers are funny. My sister works at an elementary school. The following story was relayed to me about one of her 2nd grade students:
A new boy to the class walked in and sat in another kid's seat. When child #2 informed him it was her seat, he stood up yelling and screaming. He then took off his shoes, threw them, and loudly informed the entire class he was going to kill them all. My sister thought, "This must be the kind of kid Traci sometimes has to deal with." When I was told this story I reported, without any exaggeration, that this was in fact, every single morning of my job. However, I also have to get them to brush their teeth in the morning.
-I have worked with patients as young as 3 years old and as old as people in their 70s. The absolute WORST age to work with is 18-22. Individuals this age still have the maturity (and attitudes) of teenagers, yet expect to be treated like adults, including: not being told what to do, allowed to smoke and swear like sailors, and eat, drink, and sleep whenever they want to.
-There was a purpose to my miserable year in Columbus, Ohio. Even if a job pays more money it is not worth it when you are miserable doing said job every day.
-Netflix instant watch is awesome.
-Daytime TV is horrible.
-I would go crazy if I ever ended up on bed rest.
**This Public Service Announcement has been brought to you by Traci. Remember, the more you know.**
For example, yesterday I learned that "ice" is another name for methamphetamine, because the crystals look like ice. Fascinating, huh? I saw the up close and personal effects of ice on a 15 year old girl who was accompanied to the hospital by 2 police officers Friday night. Even though I talked with this girl for over an hour, did a body check on her, fed her, made up a bed for her, and then put her to bed, she had no recollection of me come Monday morning.
Other things I have learned recently:
-Psychotic 50 year old women who are 4'11 are not scary, as they would have you believe, but rather quite entertaining. This includes said woman:
-demanding I look at her feet when she talks to me, rather than at her face
-informing me I had to walk several steps behind her because I was her servant
-instructing me that when her jeans need washing you should do so in the shower
-stripping while teaching me the above lesson
-fighting to stay awake against some rather severe meds
-Teenage girls are horrible people. This typically hits around the age of 14 and lasts through the age 20. Starting age may be as low as 11 and/or may extend to the age of 22
-Traci H and Traci A are apparently the same person, even though one is full time and printed on the schedule, and the two have comepletely different job titles. This may (will) result in Traci H being moved to work with crazy 50 year old women multiple days in a row, when she should be working with children.
-It is not that hard to manipulate people. I was extraordinarily talented at this as a teenager, and up until this week I worried this skill had been lost on the youth of today.
-Getting older is horrible. Why was I so anxious for it when I was 10?
-I still love roller coasters, but I don't quite love the after effects on my body
-Lower back pain is horrible. Especially when you have a very physically demanding job and you have to call in to work because you can't stand up
-Never make promises to CPS kids. I thought I knew this one already, but apparently you can't always control your body and it breaks your heart when you can't be there to say goodbye to a child
-Don't put off going to the doctor. They have the drugs to make you feel better
-Growing older leads to developing a taste for some previously disgusting foods. These include yogurt, squash, broccoli, and lasagna
-However, peas will always, ALWAYS taste like little balls of throw up
-Childhood obesity is horrible. Parents, it is okay to say no sometimes. Truth be told, as much as I hate hearing a child screaming for candy in a grocery store this will always be better than an 8 year old who weighs 166 lbs.
-Second to that (or maybe previous to that), parents are parents. Not friends. If it helps you remember, say it like Bruce, the Australian shark from Finding Nemo. Come on, say it with me: Parents are parents. Not friends.
-Teachers are funny. My sister works at an elementary school. The following story was relayed to me about one of her 2nd grade students:
A new boy to the class walked in and sat in another kid's seat. When child #2 informed him it was her seat, he stood up yelling and screaming. He then took off his shoes, threw them, and loudly informed the entire class he was going to kill them all. My sister thought, "This must be the kind of kid Traci sometimes has to deal with." When I was told this story I reported, without any exaggeration, that this was in fact, every single morning of my job. However, I also have to get them to brush their teeth in the morning.
-I have worked with patients as young as 3 years old and as old as people in their 70s. The absolute WORST age to work with is 18-22. Individuals this age still have the maturity (and attitudes) of teenagers, yet expect to be treated like adults, including: not being told what to do, allowed to smoke and swear like sailors, and eat, drink, and sleep whenever they want to.
-There was a purpose to my miserable year in Columbus, Ohio. Even if a job pays more money it is not worth it when you are miserable doing said job every day.
-Netflix instant watch is awesome.
-Daytime TV is horrible.
-I would go crazy if I ever ended up on bed rest.
**This Public Service Announcement has been brought to you by Traci. Remember, the more you know.**
4 comments:
I loved your post and I agree with just about everything you wrote, except the yogurt part - how could you NOT have loved it growing up!? Teenagers are awful if they are normal or crazy! And yes, getting older sucks...luckily, we are still young - its nice to be able to say that we're in our mid-late 20s rather than 40s right?
OH MY ELEDA...I love you sooo much!!
Its so HARD to think what you are going through. If it helps just remember the GOOD TIMES we have had.
By the way peas are my favorite. You can always use a tooth pick :)
OH MY ELEDA...I love you sooo much!!
Its so HARD to think what you are going through. If it helps just remember the GOOD TIMES we have had.
By the way peas are my favorite. You can always use a tooth pick :)
Traci, you crack me up! I love it. Seriously though I just stood there and watched as they came and physically removed him from my room. Oh the excitment of your everyday job compared to mine! I'm so happy you love it though!
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